For actually authoring the DVD, I've found a set of scripts called tovid. Safe to run the CVS, since they're just scripts/wrappers for other functions, and they are working on it on an hourly basis. I have literally made a request and had the feature within five minutes. The main scripts are console-based, but there is a gui and a tk guy which basically run the scripts with slightly limited options. You can run through with the GUI and get the commands to make the disk, then just tweak the fine points in the console, or you can take what the GUI gives you which is pretty nice.
I use avidemux for some other things like editing or trimming. Not sure why it's hanging on you, try ignoring that startup command.