If only BOFH: the Movie could get made

[Jason Crowe]

That was great. :)

Brian Kelsay wrote:

> Bastard, The Movie.
>  Title "A few good simms"
>  Starring Nicholson as The Bastard Operator From Hell..
>
>
>  Bastard: "You want answers?"
>  Boss: "I think I'm entitled to them!"
>  Bastard: "YOU WANT ANSWERS?"
>  Boss: "I want the truth!"
>  Bastard: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
>  Son, processes live on a system that has finite resource. Resources
>  guarded by people with System Admin experience! Who's going to look
>  after that system? You? The support guy who drools so much he has a drip
>  tray?
>
>  I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
>
>  You weep for lost sessions and curse system admins - you have that
>  luxury! You have the luxury of not knowing what I know - that session
>  killing, while tragic, saves resource - And my existence, while
>  incomprehensible and expensive to you - saves resource!"
>
>  You don't want the truth because deep down, in places you don't like to
>  talk about at user group meetings, WANT me on the system - you NEED me
>  on the system!"
>
>  We use words like "I/O wait", "Pagefaults", and "CPUtime", as a backbone
>  of a life spent sorting out user-caused problems. You use them as a
>  cop-out for downtime at Management meetings.
>
>  I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a
>  person who connects and disconnects under the very blanket of the very
>  performance I provide, then QUESTIONS the manner in which I provide it.
>  I'd rather you left a nice message with the helldesk.
>
>  Or read a linux admin manual and checked out the performance monitors.
>  Either way, I don't give a DAMN what you think you are entitled to!"
>
>  Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?"
>
>  Bastard: "I did my job - I kept the system running!"
>
>  Boss: "Did you kill -9 the Database Server?!"
>
>  Bastard: "YOU'RE GODDAM RIGHT I DID!"
>
>
>
>